TO EACH HIS OWN

Well, I have already told some of you about this, but I thought it was definitely blog-worthy. I will be sure to keep names and particulars out of it (so as not to violate HIPAA law) but I think everyone will enjoy this story. I saw a patient today who was new to the dental school. She was a relatively young, relatively healthy lady. She appeared normal at first glance. And then she opened her mouth. Now, usually when a dentist says, "And then she opened her mouth," you immediately begin picturing something nasty. Well, this time, when I say, "And then she opened her mouth," what I mean is, "And then she opened her trap..." This lady was a complete nutter. I asked her what brought her to the dental school, and she said she was interested in getting dentures. This surprised me, because although I had not done an exam yet, a person in my field notices teeth, even at a glance. I thought perhaps I had overlooked something - maybe she had lots of decay or something and needed her teeth extracted for some reason. So I thought I would take a look... Well, she was missing a few teeth in the back, but other than that, completely normal, healthy teeth and gums. I thought I should probe further into the situation to see why a person with perfectly healthy teeth would want dentures. She proceeded to tell me that she suffered from "chronic bad breath" and had been getting cleanings every three months to try and fix the problem, but it wasn't getting better. Apparently she attributed her bad breath to her teeth. She also said that she had a removable prosthesis to replace her missing teeth that touched the top of her mouth and mad her gag, so she wanted dentures intead. Umkay, if that makes you gag, don't you think a DENTURE would be even worse? I clued her in to this, and she said she didn't want a typical denture. She wanted one that snapped into implants. OK, fair enough, I thought. Maybe she is just not aware that there are ways to replace just those missing teeth without wrecking the rest of them... Why not just get implants, I suggested. Or maybe a couple of bridges. That way we can keep the teeth you have and just replace the ones that need replacing. She responds by saying that she has put a lot of money into her teeth and has never had the outcome that she wants, so she is sick of trying to fix her existing teeth, so she just wants them all out and wants dentures. I explained to her that we cannot ethically and legally take out healthy teeth, and that I didn't think there was a dentist in town who would do it either. She tells me that, actually, her dentist was willing to do it, but she just wanted to "support" the students at the dental school by giving them the first shot at it. Afterall, we all need more experience extracting teeth and making dentures, so why deny us the opportunity? Anyway, I got to the bottom of the issue just talking to the lady (for like, an hour)... Looks like she wants a "perfect smile" and doesn't want to spend a lot of money to get it. So the cheap solution: full mouth extractions and dentures!

I cannot imagine anyone wanting to look like this underneath it all, by choice.

And while these teeth may look perfect, who wants this rolling around inside their mouth? Complete nut job.